For Always Page 12
This got my attention. "So, it's possible for Beau to leave here, go into town, even, as long as he has an energy supply, like my plasma ball?"
Max smiled, "Technically, yes, but I don't think he would fit in too well."
This made me think of what had happened earlier. "Beau took his shirt off earlier so…he could feel the sun on his skin." I was a terrible liar. "As soon as it hit the ground, it disappeared and he found it down at the river."
"Oh, now we're really gettin' complicated," Max laughed. "But, yes, that makes sense. Just like if Beau was in town and resumed his spiritual state, he would also reappear at the river."
"Can he wear new clothes?" I asked.
"Yes, in this manifested state. But as soon as he returns to spirit, the clothes would fall right off."
Beau laughed when he realized what that meant. "And my old clothes would be waitin' on me at the river, so I'd be streakin'."
I laughed, too. "Well, at least no one would be able to see you but me," I said with a big smile, blushing at the thought.
Grandmama raised her eyebrow at me and Max started laughing at us. "Oh, I love it!"
"Well, I'm glad you love it, but I sure don't," Grandmama rebuffed. It surprised me to see her getting upset. "How's a relationship between 'em ever gonna work, Max?" She said, gesturing toward us. "Answer that one."
Max was still smiling when he answered her. "Well, Miss Nellie, I know of two ways it can work. Either they can be together and work it out, or they can say their goodbyes and he can move on."
Grandmama kept talking like we weren't here. "How can they work it out? Carry that dad blamed ball everywhere they go?" She looked toward Beau and said, "No offense," then looked back at Max, "but he can't give her a normal life. He can't marry her. Can't give her children. Can't provide for her. So tell me, how they can work it out? He's dead, for goodness sakes!"
I had rarely seen her get upset, but I knew she just had my best interest at heart. "Grandmama—"
"No," Beau interrupted, "she's right." He looked at Grandmama, nodding his head, then back at Max. "I wanna go. I have to move on…now."
My heart sank and, as usual, I couldn't control my tears. I tried to hide them, but gave up. "No," I whispered.
Beau didn't turn around or say anything, he just dropped his head.
"Malyn," Grandmama said, sounding like she was about to cry, too. "It's the only way," she tried to convince me. "I like Beau, too," she said as she looked from me to him, then back at me. "But you know as well as I do that this relationship you two have goin' just ain't gonna work. I'll miss him, too, but it's best if he moves on."
"No, it's not," I whispered again, my voice betraying me.
"Can I talk to Malyn alone, please?" Beau asked.
"Yes, I think that's a good idea," Max replied as he got up. Grandmama took a deep breath before getting up and following him outside.
Beau dropped his head again, but didn't turn around. So I leaned forward, put my hands on his sides and laid my head on his back. That's when I felt him gently shudder. "Beau?"
He slowly turned around and looked at me. When I saw his face, his eyes, I knew it was over. He had already made his decision. I reached up and wiped a tear off of his cheek, knowing he was leaving.
Chapter 13
LOVE
Malyn
We sat on the deck at the restaurant, eating in silence. I pushed my food from one side of the plate to the other, wondering why I had even ordered it. Thinking about this afternoon, and Beau's soon departure, left me in no shape to eat.
"Ya need to eat somethin', honey," Grandmama said softly.
"I know." But I also knew that if I tried to swallow a single bite of food that I would probably throw up.
She reached over and patted my hand. I knew she didn't want Beau to leave, either; she just didn't want me to fall in love with a dead guy.
"This town is beautiful," Max said as he looked out over the lake toward the mountains. "No wonder ya moved here. If Savannah wasn't so charmin', I'd move here, too."
"I looked 'round for a long time and new that Dandridge was where I wanted to be," Grandmama said with a big smile.
I couldn't smile and I didn't want to sit here anymore. I put my fork down and sat back, looking for Jace. He was coming to get me in his boat, which I was looking forward to. I was hoping he would help me forget about today. Forget about Beau.
"What are you and Jace gonna do this evenin'?" Grandmama asked.
"Who's this Jace fella?"
"Jace's parents own this," Grandmama answered Max, pointing at the restaurant and marina.
Max was nodding with approval as I looked at Grandmama and sighed. "I don't know. We may ride around or just go back to his house and swim or something."
"Did ya bring your bathin' suit?"
"I don't need one," I tried to joke, but since it seemed impossible to smile, or even smirk, it just came out smart. "I can wear one of Beth's if I need to."
Max laughed and said, "Remember that time we went swimmin' in Lake Mayer and forgot our swim—"
"Max," Grandmama interrupted.
"Forgot your what?" I teased, looking at Grandmama with my eyebrows raised. But it didn't surprise me that she may have gone skinny dipping. From some of the stories she had shared, she spent a few years of her life mostly naked.
She smiled at me, then looked at Max and appeared to be flirting when she said, "We did have fun that day, didn't we."
Her and Max? I hadn't thought of them that way, but now that I did, I could see it. "So, you two hooked up back in the day, huh?" I was finally able to smile.
Max blushed when Grandmama smiled back at me and admitted, "Maybe." Then she took a sip of her tea and winked at me. I loved her.
"Hey!" I heard someone yell, and looked up to see Jace coming toward us. When he got close, he jumped and climbed the deck like he had the first time I met him. I was surprised that I was actually glad to see him.
"Hey, I didn't see you pull up. We were busy reminiscing," I told him, smiling at Max and Grandmama.
"'About what?"
"What was it you two were talking about, Max?"
"Oh, we were talkin' 'bout how back in the day me and Nellie—"
"Okay, you two," Grandmama interrupted. "Jace doesn't need to hear our dirty laundry," then she smiled coyly at Max, "and dirty it was."
"Grandmama!" I couldn't keep from laughing now.
"Yeah, maybe I don't need to hear about that," Jace laughed, blushing as bad as Max.
"Do you want to eat, or are you ready to go?" I asked Jace.
"No, I'm good. You can finish eating, though," he said
"Na, I'm ready." I had almost forgotten. "Oh, this is Max. Max, this is Jace."
They shook hands as Jace said, "Nice to meet you."
I stood up and hugged Grandmama bye. "I'll let you know what we decide to do."
She hugged me extra long. "I love ya, Malyn."
"I know. I love you, too." I smiled at her and told Max bye as we climbed back over the rail and headed toward his boat.
"What have you been doing today?" Jace asked, grabbing my hand.
I squeezed his hand back. "Nothing, really," I lied.
We got in the boat and slowly pulled out of the dock. Jace rubbed my knee and asked, "What do you want to do?"
"It doesn't matter. Whatever you want to do."
"We can go swimming. But I want to show you something first."
He took me into a small cove and I was amazed when I looked around. "What is that?" The entire cove was solid green; the ground, the trees, everything. It looked like something out of a fairytale.
"Kudzu," he replied as he turned the boat off. "It's a vine that takes over everything and is really hard to get rid of."
"It's beautiful."
He wrapped his arms around me. "It reminds me of you."
I turned around to face him. "So, I’m like a weed that takes over everything and is hard to get rid of?"
"Hard to get rid of? I wouldn't know." He laughed. "Hard to get ahold of, yes." He smiled down at me and ran his fingers through my hair. "I meant the beauty of it reminds me of you." He kissed me softly, running his hand up and down my back.
I tried not to think of Beau, but it was so hard not to. Jace must have sensed me tense up, because he stopped kissing me and smiled. "You ready to get out of here?"
"Um, not really," I said, kissing him again. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to me. I really did like Jace; I just happened to like Beau more. But that had to change, and it had to change today.
I backed Jace into the boat seat, causing him to sit down. I sat down on him, straddling his lap, and kept kissing him. I had never been the aggressive type before, but it seemed to be coming natural to me now. And if this is what it took to get Beau out of my mind, then so be it.
He put his hands on my hips and pulled me close to him, letting his lips slide down my neck. I flipped my hair around so that it wouldn't smother him, but he took it as an open invitation and devoured my neck. I knew that at that moment I was getting my first hickey. I just hoped it went away by Thursday when I would have to wear my hair up at work. That would be rather awkward if his mom seen it.
"Jace," I whispered, thinking we should stop. But he brought his lips back up to mine, and before I knew it, he had picked me up, spun around, and sat me in the seat. He was now on his knees in front of me, kissing me fiercely. I was thinking that saying his name may have had the opposite effect of what I had intended. I knew if we didn't stop now that we may not. He was making me forget, and I liked it.
He grabbed my hips again and pulled me toward the edge of the seat so that I was pressed against him. I knew that at this point I had two choices: wrap my legs around him and go with it, or put out the fire before it engulfed me.
I scooted back in my seat, which made him lean back and look at me. "We can't, Jace. Not here…not yet." I waited to see what his reaction would be.
He took a deep breath. "That's fine, Malyn. I don't want you doing anything you're not ready to do." He smiled, kissed me softly, and then laughed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my composure and attacked you like that, but you seem to have that effect on me," he said as he grabbed me and squeezed me tight.
"No, I'm sorry. I seemed to have attacked you first." Now I just felt like a tease. I was gonna have to keep my emotions in check before I acted on them.
"I'm officially giving you permission to attack me whenever and wherever you want to," he said as he kissed me and started the boat.
I smiled all the way to his house, thinking about how he had picked me up and spun around like he did. I stole a few glances his way, but only got caught once. He just gave me a weird look and smiled, making me laugh. My evening was looking up after all.
* * *
"So, what do you want for your birthday?" Jace asked as we walked into his kitchen.
With all that had been going on, I had forgotten what day it was. "I don't know."
"Did you forget 'bout it?" He must have noticed my surprise.
"Yeah, so how did you know it's almost my birthday?"
"I have my ways," he said, winking at me, which made my heart dance. He came around the counter and wrapped his arms around me. "So, you're not gonna give me a single hint on what you might like?"
"I'll like any gift that's from you." I stretched up and kissed him.
"I hope so." He let me go and grabbed a bottle of water off the counter. "Shall we swim," he took a drink and slowly licked his lips, "or stay inside for the evening?"
"I'm gonna have to tie you up, ain't I?"
"So, inside it is. I'll grab the rope."
"Jace!" I had turned him into a monster—the kind of monster you hope will catch you.
"I'm just kidding…sort of." He smiled and kissed me before heading upstairs, yelling over his shoulder at me, "I'll meet you in the pool!"
"I don't have a bathing suit!" I shouted back.
"Beth has hundreds!"
I hoped he wasn't lying, because it was gonna take that many to find one that would cover me up. I went up to Beth's room and started looking through her drawers, which I hated to do with her not home. I had gone through four before I hit the jackpot. He wasn't lying after all. I grabbed the ones with the most fabric and tried them on. After going through five, I gave up—I wasn't gonna swim. I sat down on the bed in defeat when I heard a knock on the door.
"Are you okay in there?" Jace asked.
"Um…no," I said truthfully.
"Can I come in?"
"Um…no." I was completely naked.
He was quiet for second. "What's wrong?"
I wrapped a blanket from her bed around me and went to the door, just opening it enough to peak around. "None of them fit."
"Out of all of those, none of them fit?" He seemed surprised, which I couldn't understand.
I gave him a frustrated look. "Think about it, Jace. They all fit Beth," I said as I held my hand straight up and down to give him a visual.
He grinned, finally understanding. "Oh, okay. Well, it's just you and me. Ain't there one that covers you enough?"
I sighed. "Probably, I guess. As long as you realize it's not something I would normally wear."
"It doesn't matter to me what you wear, Malyn, but I do want you to be comfortable. If you can't find one, you can't find one. We can do something else." He reached through the door and rubbed his finger down my cheek. "It's no big deal."
This made me want to drop my blanket and pull him in here with me, which I was not about to do. "Okay. There's one I can stretch out and squeeze into," I said quickly as I shut the door in his face before I did something I knew I would regret.
I picked out a gold monokini, put it on, and headed downstairs. I didn't even look to see how it looked, I just knew that all the important parts were covered, which was all that mattered. I didn't see Jace as I walked out, but soon realized he was floating on the water with his eyes shut. I figured he would jump up to look at me, but he didn't. He kept his eyes closed until I got in the water, which made me like him even more.
I swam over to him and kissed his forehead. "Thanks."
He turned around and looked at me. "For what?"
"For being you."
He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me, which felt very different with both of us being half naked. He must have felt it, too, because he sighed, and let his arms slip away from me. He went under and grabbed my legs, pulling me under with him. When we came back up, his face was even with mine and he kissed me, but purposely didn't touch me. Our lips were all wet, making our kiss very slippery, which we both seemed to like. I wrapped my arms around his neck, not caring if we were half naked. He wrapped his arms back around me and held me so that our mouths were barely out of the water. I had found my new favorite kiss—a wet one.
We continued like this for a few minutes when Jace stopped kissing me and just looked at me. His eyes were beautiful—a bright, clear emerald green. My heart was racing, and I assumed his was, too, because he was breathing rather hard. "I love you," he whispered.
The normal response was supposed to be I love you, too, but did I? Did I love Jace? I wasn't gonna say I did if I didn't. I thought about Beau, who I knew I loved, and tried to compare that to how I felt about Jace. Beau is leaving—Jace is here. Take Beau out of the equation. As hard as that was to imagine Beau gone, I did. I was gonna have to soon enough, anyway. So I imagined Beau gone, and it was just me and Jace. And he loved me. And….
"I love you, too," I whispered back.
* * *
When Jace brought me home, Max and Grandmama were already in bed, probably together, and Beau was nowhere in sight, which made me happy. I quietly got ready for bed and tiptoed back downstairs to my temporary bedroom. I laid down on the couch in the sunroom, trying not to think about Beau, which was almost impossible. It seemed easier to try to imagine that he had never even existed, that he was just a dream.
"I liked it better the other way," Beau said.
I nearly jumped out of my skin. "What are you doing in here?" I whispered as angrily as I could.
"Just tryin' to memorize your beautiful face."
How dare he toy with my emotions like this. "Well, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't," I said as I covered my face back up. "Please get out."
"Why are ya mad at me?" he asked softly.
I threw my cover back and glared at him. "Why do you think I'm mad at you?"
He leaned forward out of the darkness he had been sitting in, making the moonlight hit his face. "Ya know I have to go. Ya even told me you'd understand if I ever chose to leave. You said ya didn't want me to suffer."
I thought back to our conversation and felt tears stinging my eyes. "I don't," I admitted.
"Then why are ya mad?"
I had to catch my breath before I could answer him. "The two most important people in my life never got to say goodbye, they just…left me. Why couldn't you? It would've been so much easier that way."
He came over to me, crouching down next to the chaise. "I promised ya, Malyn. I said I'd never leave ya without sayin' goodbye."
I shut my eyes, waiting on my heart to completely rip in two, because that is what it felt like it was doing. "Beau, I can't tell you goodbye," I said, crying harder. "I can't. It would be easier if you just…” I was crying too hard to finish, so I just laid my head down and shut my eyes. When I calmed down a bit, I opened them only to realize he was gone. I covered my head back up, praying sleep would come and come quick.